How does one write a proper “about me” section for a blog? I imagine you’re supposed to include a picture of yourself and be pretty self-deprecating, unless of course you’re trying to be taken seriously, but let’s stop for a minute and reflect on how those who are trying to be taken seriously are usually the ones we laugh at the hardest. I figure the best place to start is at the beginning, so, here it goes. Once upon a time my parents kissed a lot and then this happened:
Please note that my skin was not unlike that of sick E.T. from that major motion picture E.T.. Oh, here’s a quick question for you grammar snobs, how do you end a sentence when the last word is an abbreviation? I went for the double period, but I really wanted to end it with an upside down question mark. That’s like the international symbol for “grammar confuses me”, right?
I’ll let you decide what’s going on down in the lower quadrant of my body. Anyway. I am not sure if this is my father holding me, if so, I guess technically I have met him. Joke. My dad is a real live person that did not abandon me at birth, although, I wouldn’t blame him if he had split after having had to witness that emerging from a va– cuum of non-existence.
These days I’m looking a little more– developed. Some say it is an improvement; I say it’s not a fair comparison. I mean I’m not even covered in my birth slime in the second photo. I think the stained glass definitely adds a certain legitimacy to my new found adulthood as well.
Well, obviously a lot of things happened between those two photos. In my life, not so much in this bio as you can clearly see. I am such a lazy writer. I grew up a bit, got fat, grew up a bit more, got fat again, grew up a lot, got thin, went to college, loved college, hated college, graduated from college, moved to Thailand, missed America, moved back to America, missed Thailand, hated college, hated my job, missed college, started a blog, loved my blog, was skeptical of my blog, hated my blog, got laid off from my job, and quit my blog.
Which leads us to today! I have no job, miss college, am still pretty thin, and love my blog again. Who knows how long any of these things may last (especially the thin part). Some may say I’m fickle, but I like to think I just have no idea what I really want out of life!
What People Are Saying About Stanton Martin:
I don’t get it. – Joseph Craven
If Stanton wasn’t somewhat good looking with decent hair I probably wouldn’t read his blog. – Heather Summers
I hope he writes better than he dresses. – Amanda Bast
What is a Stanton, Anyway? – Joe Knight
I am not yet convinced he’s not a spambot. – Jared Hollier
I thought everyone in Mississippi was illiterate? - Mama Bee