Life Tip: Avoid Confrontation

Here I am wearing Brett's shirt and my brother's hat.

I am excited to announce that I have finally decided on a series for my Wednesday blog posts: Life Tips with Stanton Martin. I feel that this new series will be perfect for me because it combines two of my favorite things:

1. telling people what to do
2. talking about stuff I’ve done

I spent several minutes days combing through my various life experiences in search of the perfect Life Tip to share with you all today, and I think I’ve chosen a wise one. Avoid Confrontation.

Whenever problems arise with your friends, roommates, or co-workers there is often a feeling that a confrontation is neccasary to resolve the situation. I’ve found that only those truly committed to communication and developing strong, meaningful relationships ever really benefit from these confrontations, and therefore they are to be avoided as often as possible. I have outlined several situations that could warrant a confrontation and provided examples of  how to use a valuable tool called passive aggressive behavior to avoid the conflict.

Roommate Stole Your Shirt
There will come a time in your life when one of your roommates will steal something of yours. Odds are it will either be your faith in mankind or an article of clothing. This sort of situation normally could warrant a confrontation, but you may do just as well to passive aggressively insinuate that your roommate stole the shirt until it miraculously reappears in your laundry basket.

I suggest you:

• Repeatedly exclaim that you cannot believe you lost the shirt.
• Describe the shirt in detail; mention: “it’s the one you said you liked so much.”
• Assert that some douche probably stole it from your bag at the gym.

• Mention to your roommate that the shirt he is wearing in photos on Facebook looks exactly like the one you are missing. Damn, I miss that shirt.

Friend Likes The Same Girl as You
We have all been there. You like a girl but you’re pretty sure your best friend likes her too. Others would advise you to confront your friend about the situation, discuss it with him, and walk away with some sort of agreement on the subject. Here’s the thing: talking about stuff is hard. It requires you to feel things and open-up. Blah. Take my advice and avoid all of that unnecessary talking and all of those pesky emotions.

I suggest you:

• Deny your feelings.
• Deny your friend’s feelings.
• Acknowledge everyone’s feelings.
• Brood.
• Outline all of the girl’s flaws; leave the outline in a place sure to be found by your friend.
• Outline all of your friend’s flaws; commit them to memory.
• Regularly ask your friend if he is interested in anyone; deny that you’re interested in anyone either.

Unclaimed Mess
Wherever two or more are gathered together (in a living situation) an unclaimed mess is bound to occur. It’s just one of those things. Usually it occurs in the kitchen. Dishes pile up and everyone denies involvement. You could confront your roommates and agree to all pitch in for a few minutes to jointly clean up the festering refuse, or you could practice your new found non-confrontation skills.

I suggest you:

• Exclaim: “Gah, something in this house really smells,” every time you walk in the door.
• Loudly apologize to guests about the state of your apartment. “We had a cleaning schedule, but you know how these things go.”
• Buy cleaning supplies. Leave them in front of the TV.
• Ponder out loud the last time you’ve even used a dish in the kitchen. Decide you’ve eaten out for every meal. Ever.

 

There it is, folks. Now go forth, and avoid confrontation!

How do you avoid confrontation in your life? Got a great suggestion for a Life Tip? Be sure to let me know at info@stantonmartin.com

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